Playground Lessons

I’ve spent much of my life being a bit of a nerd, and sometimes an annoying one at that.  When I was young, if my head wasn’t buried in a book then I was probably minding everyone else’s business and reminding them that if they just studied a bit more and followed the rules then they would do better in school.  Not exactly the best way to make yourself popular.

I didn’t really care, or at least I didn’t think I did.  I was the star-student, the teacher’s pet who could do no wrong.  But that was my error.  Where my teacher’s thought I was wonderful (or at least I think I they did), my fellow classmates had definitely had enough of me.

And that’s where Lauren Strelberg comes into the picture.  I hardly knew her, but she knew me.  I was the one who kept getting perfect grades when she was struggling through every class.  I wasn’t aware that this mattered to her until one lunch break when she had decided she wanted to set things straight. 

I can’t remember her approaching me in the schoolyard or even what she said.  I think it had something to do with the results of a test, and I am guessing she didn’t do particularly well because the part I do remember is her punching me in the stomach.  And then there was shouting – not just from Lauren but every other girl in the class seemed to have joined in. 

I was stunned.  And scared.   Nothing in my mountain of textbooks had prepared me for this and I had no idea what to do.  So I ran. 

I ran as fast as I could to the school office and told the school secretary that Lauren had punched me.

Fast forward thirty years to the day that the promotions list was posted on the company website and it felt very much the same way.  I’d been punched in the gut.  Again.

But this time there was no school office to run to.  No teacher who could put things right.  Plus I had learned a few things since that day when Lauren Strelberg took the wind out of my sails (and my gut).

My name wasn’t on the promotions list but I felt it should be.  I didn’t even care about Damien or any of the other names on the list and whether or not they deserved to be there.  I was angry that my name wasn’t there and I wanted to do something about it.  But what?

When I arrived home that evening I tearfully told my husband what happened.  I needed a hug.  Instead I got a pat on the back and lacklustre comment that these things happen so best just to deal with it.

Deal with it?!

My mother had said the same sort of thing when Lauren dealt her monumental blow and then proceeded to call me a chicken every day of school until we finally escaped for summer break.  I learned an important lesson that being a tattle tale on top of being a goodie-two-shoes is definitely not going to help one’s standing with the school bully.

This time around things would be different.  For starters, I had realised that the support of your peers is just as import as the quality of the work you do.  On that fateful day in the schoolyard, the rest of the class seemed to be supporting Lauren but this time my peers were supporting me.  Even senior managers were shaking their heads in disbelief.

And I learned how to fight.  Not in the physical sense or even verbally.  I didn’t take any swipes at my line-manager although the urge was overwhelming at times.  But I did make it clear that I was not happy with the situation, knowing all too well that my manager might decide to tell me to get lost and toss me out on the pavement.  But he didn’t.

Instead he told me that I was guaranteed a promotion the following year and offered to redefine my job as I wanted it to be.  It sounded positive but a little voice inside my head told me I’d gone through too much pain to settle for the same thing.  So I decided to push on and look for something more.

It took months to sort things out, but I am happy with the result.  I’m in a completely different part of the business and I’ve even wrangled a job in management (me?!).  Half the time I don’t know what I am doing and most of the time I am working my butt off, but it’s challenging and I am learning so that keeps me smiling. 

It’s been a bumpy ride to get to this point and if anyone had tried to tell me on that February evening that my lack of promotion would be the best thing that could have happened to me, I think I might have punched them. 

Actually that’s a bit untrue.  I don’t think I have ever punched anyone in my life.  But I did learn a few good lessons.  It’s important to have the support and respect of your peers (Lauren gets a nod for teaching me that one; however, I would still like to punch her).  But even more so, it is important to stand up for you.  

    

Cate xxx